We all can describe our ideal partner. Perhaps they are funny, attractive and inquisitive. Or maybe they are down-to-earth, intelligent and thoughtful. But do we actually have special insight into ourselves, or are we just describing positive qualities that everyone likes?

我们都能描述出自己理想的伴侣。也许他们是有趣的，有吸引力的，让人好奇的。又或者，他们是脚踏实地的，聪明的，有思想的。但是我们真的了解自己吗？或许我们只是单纯在描述每个人都喜欢的积极特质?

New research coming out of the University of California, Davis, suggests that people’s ideal partner preferences do not reflect any unique personal insight. The paper, “Negligible evidence that people desire partners who uniquely fit their ideals,” was published last week in the Journal of Experimental Social Psychology.

加州大学戴维斯分校（the University of California, Davis）的一项新研究表明，人们对理想伴侣的偏好并不能反映任何独特的个人见解。上周，《实验社会心理学杂志》（Journal of Experimental Social Psychology）发表了一篇论文，题为《可以忽略不计的证据表明，人们渴望拥有符合自己理想的唯一伴侣》（Negligible evidence that people desire partners who uniquely fit their ideals）。

“The people in our study could very easily list their top three attributes in an ideal partner,” noted Jehan Sparks, former UC Davis doctoral student and lead author of the study. “We wanted to see whether those top three attributes really mattered for the person who listed them. As it turns out, they didn’t.”

“在我们的研究中，人们可以很容易地列出理想伴侣的三大特质，”Jehan Sparks说，他是前加州大学戴维斯分校的博士生，也是这项研究的主要作者。“我们想知道，对于列出这三个最重要的特质的人来说，这三个特质是否真的重要。但事实证明，真没那么重要。”

In the research, more than 700 participants nominated their top three ideals in a romantic partner — attributes like funny, attractive or inquisitive. Then they reported their romantic desire for a series of people they knew personally: Some were blind date partners, others were romantic partners and still others were friends.

在这项研究中，700多名参与者提名了他们心目中最理想伴侣的三个特质，即风趣、有吸引力或让人好奇。然后，他们向自己认识的人说出了自己这些浪漫的愿望：有些是相亲对象，有些是恋人，还有一些是朋友。

Participants experienced more romantic desire to the extent that these personal acquaintances possessed the top three attributes. If Vanessa listed funny, attractive and inquisitive, she experienced more desire for partners who were funny, attractive and inquisitive.

参与者有过很多有关浪漫的愿望，所以这些熟人基本都拥有前三种属性。如果Vanessa列出了有趣、有吸引力和让人好奇的伴侣，她会对这类伴侣更容易心动。

“On the surface, this looks promising,” noted Paul Eastwick, a professor in the UC Davis Department of Psychology and co-author.

“从表面上看，这似乎很有希望让有情人终成眷属，”加州大学戴维斯分校心理学教授、合著者Paul Eastwick指出。

“You say you want these three attributes, and you like the people who possess those attributes. But the story doesn’t end there.”

 – Paul Eastwick, UC Davis

“你说出你看重的三个特质，你喜欢拥有这些特质的人。但故事并没有就此结束。”加州大学戴维斯分校的Paul Eastwick说道。

What would a stranger say?

那陌生人呢?

The researchers included a twist: Each participant also considered the extent to which the same personal acquaintances possessed three attributes nominated by some other random person in the study. For example, if Kris listed down-to-earth, intelligent and thoughtful as her own top three attributes, Vanessa also experienced more desire for acquaintances who were down-to-earth, intelligent and thoughtful.

研究人员还加入了一个转折：每个参与者也会考虑同一个人的熟人在多大程度上拥有其他随机参与者指定的三项特质。例如，如果Kris把脚踏实地、聪明和体贴列为自己的三大特质，也许Vanessa会更渴望结识脚踏实地、聪明和体贴的人。

“So, in the end, we want partners who have positive qualities,” said Sparks, “but the qualities you specifically list do not actually have special predictive power for you.” The authors take these findings to mean that people don’t have special insight into what they personally want in a partner.

Sparks说:“所以，最后，我们都想要有优点的伴侣，而你特别列出的这些优点实际上并不能为你特别预测什么。作者认为这些发现意味着人们对自己想要什么样的伴侣并没有什么指导意义。

Eastwick compared it to ordering food at a restaurant. “Why do we order off the menu for ourselves? Because it seems obvious that I will like what I get to pick. Our findings suggest that, in the romantic domain, you might as well let a random stranger order for you — you’re just as likely to end up liking what you get.”

Eastwick将其比作在餐馆点餐。“为什么我们会从点菜单上点菜？因为很明显我们会选择我们喜欢的东西。我们的研究结果表明，在爱情方面，即使你让一个陌生人随机为你点菜——你也可能会喜欢你得到的东西。”

The findings have implications for the way people approach online dating. People commonly spend many hours perusing online dating profiles in the search of someone who specifically matches their ideals. Sparks and colleagues’ research suggests that this effort may be misplaced.

这一发现对人们进行网上约会的方式有一定的启示。人们通常会花很多时间浏览网上交友资料，以寻找符合自己理想的人。Sparks及其同事的研究表明，这个努力方向可能是错误的。

“It’s really easy to spend time hunting around online for someone who seems to match your ideals,” noted Sparks. “But our research suggests an alternative approach: Don’t be too picky ahead of time about whether a partner matches your ideals on paper. Or, even better, let your friends pick your dates for you.”

Sparks说:“花时间在网上寻找符合自己理想的伴侣真的很容易。”但我们的研究提出了另一种方法：对于约会对象是否符合你想要的理想特质前，先不要太挑剔。或者，更好的选择是，让你的朋友为你挑选约会对象。”